guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
