I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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