i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
