If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
