I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Randomize
