Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
