I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
