No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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