Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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