Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
