:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
