I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
