dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
