It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize