god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
