I understand Curling. That high.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
