The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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