beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
