bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
