My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
