I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
