whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
