I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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