im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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