It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
