It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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