I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
