...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
