Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
