I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
