i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
barbara walters just said penis...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
