Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
another moral hangover. fuck.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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