It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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