So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
