omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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