Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
