Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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