dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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