Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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