The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
