walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
