Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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