The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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