last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
