one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
