discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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