Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
