Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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