susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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