Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
