I think i sorta joined a cult last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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