As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
