Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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