Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
