suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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