Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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