Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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