it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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