I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
