do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
