He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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