now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
