Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize