Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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