Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize