Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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