the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
