So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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