woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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