She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
