Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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