i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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