the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
