Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
