LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
