using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
